Says Peter from California who wrote in to tell us about how he and his partner, Leslie, traded vans and reaped the benefits of cheap travel. “And we”d love to do it again! We put a letter to the Editor in a caravan-owner”s magazine in England, saying we wanted to trade our California van for theirs.

Four weeks before our 2-month trip, a nice gent from Norwich called to say he”d consider it. After we traded references and information about our vans and how they were outfitted, he welcomed us. We spent a heavenly holiday travelling Britain, and then he and his wife came to use our van to visit the great parks of the American west!

We saved thousands of dollars/pounds. Van trades are better than house trades, because transportation is included and you”re not locked in at one location! Campgrounds are very inexpensive and have nice showers and laundry facilities.

We will soon have a new advertisement appearing in the Caravan Club Magazine–we”d love to visit France for 2 months! Insurance is not a problem, as each borrower gets their own to cover liability and collision.

In fact, if any of you fellow Globetrotters out there has a VW or other van (fancy factory-outfitted vans are not necessary–we can sleep in a bare tradesman”s van just fine), we”d love to trade with you.

Give me a call or an email: Peter Reimuller, Box 4, Point Arena, California, 95468; phone 1-(707)-882-2001; reimuller@mcn.org. And pack your bag–you”re going to be in some wonderful places!

Sorry–April not available as we are taking our van to Indian Country to visit the red-rock mesas and desert wildflowers.”

This is not for the faint hearted: if you are a regular traveller on the London Underground, here are some facts that you are going to wish you hadn”t read.

During Autumn of 2000, a team of scientists at the Department of Forensics at University College London removed a row of passenger seats from a Central Line tube carriage for analysis into cleanliness. Despite London Underground”s claim that the interior of their trains are cleaned on a regular basis, the scientists made some alarming discoveries.

The analysis was broken down. This is what was found on the surface of the seats: 4 types of hair sample (human, mouse, rat, dog) 7 types of insect mostly fleas, mostly alive) vomit originating from at least 9 separate people human urine originating from at least 4 separate people human excrement rodent excrement human semen

When the seats were taken apart, they found: the remains of 6 mice the remains of 2 large rats 1 previously unheard of fungus It is estimated that by holding one of the armrests, you are transferring, to your body, the natural oils and sweat from as many as 400 different people. It is estimated that it is generally healthier to smoke five cigarettes a day than to travel for one hour a day on the London Underground.

It is far more hygienic to wipe your hand on the inside of a recently flushed toilet bowl before eating, than to wipe your hand on a London Underground seat before eating. It is estimated that, within London, more work sick-days are taken because of bugs picked up whilst travelling on the London Underground than for any other reason (including alcohol).

In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO,WE CAN HELP.

Write in and tell us your funny sign! Drop a line to the Beetle!Beetle@globetrotters.co.uk

Changi, Singapore: large, efficient, clean (good duty free) and looks great, what with the orchids and the waterfalls inside the airport

Aruba: clean, quiet and uncrowded

Denver: looks nice but crap shops

Landing strip at Kavak, Venezuela: a charming field – minimal environmental impact!

Heathrow: good shops for last minute forgotten item purchasing, can fly almost anywhere from it – downside it is horrible to get to and from, especially for early morning flights

The Stoat’s worst airports include:

Dar es Salaam – dirty, not many shops, expensive, sells 6 month old copies of the Economist

Local airport at Honiara: fly ridden, filthy and decidedly dodgy

Local airport at Vanuatu: same as Honiara

Write in and tell us your best airport nominations!Beetle@globetrotters.co.uk