U. S. Soldiers Home, Washington: during a century of travel (well 78 years!) both in and out of service I have travelled to over 150 countries (I count both North and South Dakota as countries) and for some reason have jotted signs and happenings that I thought funny at the time (and now wonder why). So here is the perfect opportunity to share some of my anecdotes.

In the Bangkok post office two Scandinavian girls came in with backpacks the size of a Volvo Auto on their backs. They were wearing dresses and proceeded to take them off in the middle of post office and stood there in their panties while they looked in their backpacks for jeans and blouse. Naturally, I volunteered my help. Patrons were dropping their mail at the sight of this goings on. You don’t have to go to the strip shows. You can just go to the Post Office.

Elephant School Chiang Mai, Thailand: Elephants go to school for seven years and live to be around 80. An American military retired man living in Chiang Mai, with his Thai wife told me that the elephant’s pregnancy lasts 2 years and he compared it to a U.S. Senator’s two year term of office. It is high level, there is lots of noise and it takes two years to get any results. Someone has asked me what elephants learn in their school. They learn potty training, basket weaving and how to pick up logs. I was given some bananas to feed the elephants at the elephant training school. I gave my elephant one and ate the rest myself. He has never forgotten this. I rode this elephant for an hour over mountainous hills sometimes so steep that I feared I might fall off and down he cliff with the elephant on top of me. The ride costs 480 bahts ($16.00) I kind of got roped into taking the elephant trip. A Thai girl told me that she and her husband would get a free ride on the elephant if they got eleven other people to sign up for the trip. They had just gotten married and the elephant trip was their honeymoon. (Don’t ask!) Elephants don’t eat after midday and monks don’t either. However, the elephant I was on ate everything his trunk could pull up along the road and it was about 1230 noon. Monks smoke but do not touch alcohol. If I understand correctly, Buddhism does not tell others how to live but it is within oneself to better yourself, treat others how to live and don’t steal bananas from elephants.

I met a British retired military that spends his time living in monastery guest houses in Thailand. He gives them a donation of $80 a month, which pleases them. He married a Japanese girl while in India (I don’t know what she was doing there) but she got homesick so left Thailand to return to Japan. He believes in reincarnation. He thinks it is the only way to handle the thousands of people that have died before us. He unfortunately had a stroke while revisiting England but returned here to spend out the last days of his life. He reads a book a day he rents from library in Chiang Mai, sees the sites and eats tomatoes.

A lady in a tailor shop (“our materials are the sheapest”) in Banglampor (the budget hotel section) of Bangkok claimed she knew me from when I was stationed there and said I should buy a suit from her for old times sake and the wonderful times we had together. I was never stationed in Thailand.

Next month, Mac discusses clothing.

If you would like to contact Mac, he can be e-mailed on: macsan400@yahoo.com

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2. In which valley in New South Wales can you visit famous vineyards? Answer: The Hunter Valley.

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5. By which alternative name is Ayers Rock also known? Answer: Uluru.

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Tokyo Haneda airport is the largest and the busiest airport in Japan – over 300 flights take off and same number of flights land each day and around half are Japanese domestic flights.

There are two railways connecting the airport terminal building (Haneda Kuko station) and Tokyo city center. The Tokyo Monorail line from Hamamatsu-cho on the JR Yamanote line is a circular line connecting to major places in Tokyo. The monorail runs every 4 or 5 minutes and takes 24 minutes journey from Hamamatsu-cho into the town centre, costing 470yen (US$4 or £3).

The other train is the Keihin Kyuko (Keikyu) line from Shinagawa also on the Yamanote line. There is a direct service every 10 minutes, although you must change train at Kamata station in the early mornings and late at night. The journey takes between 30 and 35 minutes from Shinagawa, and costs 400yen (US$3.50 or £2.50).

There is also a direct train to and from Narita every 80 minutes, taking 105 minutes journey. There is also a bus service between the terminal building and major places and hotels in the Tokyo area.

I’ve been to Japan before, to Honshu, but have not explored the southern parts, so this trip was designed at seeing Kyushu. I flew into Fukuoka as an entry point via Seoul that is a lot cheaper than going to Nagasaki. My trip had three bases: I used Beppu as a base to see the Hells, and Usuki, Kagoshima to see Sakaragima (a volcano), Ibosuki (sand baths), Shiran (the kamikaze museum) and finally Kamomoto for the city itself and Mt Aso.

Kyushu is nothing like as busy as Honshu and doesn’t seem quite as affluent. The trains and buses all ran on time. Kyushu is probably cheaper than Honshu for accommodation – I spent on average £23 a night in mostly Ryokans – good value – and can all be booked through the Japanese Inn group. There are also far fewer foreigners and tourists in Kyushu than Honshu.

It's less than a year since I last came through Seoul airport. A year ago it was a busy, heaving place with all the restaurants and shops packed out. Today you can go in anywhere and do anything without waiting. I think SARS is having a big effect. There are lots of people walking around with masks on, should I have got one I ask myself? There’s not even much in the shops. I just cannot believe how quiet this airport is, there's nobody rushing, no announcements, there's only about 10 flights on the departures board.

Arrived in the city with the best 3-letter airport code I know Fukuoka (FUK)!!! Got the shuttle bus then the ultra efficient metro in to the city. I was glad that I had my compass to come out of right exit. Then a 10 min walk to my hotel: very nice, tiny room, probably big for Japan, but it has a bed, shower, TV and its own ultra efficient kettle, very handy! Apparently a rice breakfast is included but as I didn’t wake up till 9am, I missed it! Fukuoka is a big modern city, nobody here has a mask on there is not much for a tourist to see, it is more of an entry port.

I took a side trip from Fukuoka to Dazaifu to see a shrine and a couple of Zen gardens. They are great with all their symbolism. Loads of parties of school kids going “Herro” i.e. “hello” and “England number 1”. All of it is good natured, and people have been so helpful: I had 3 old dears put me on the right train this morning!

Took ages to cash travellers cheques, because they are issued by Barclays via Sumitomo Bank. This meant that I had to find a Sumitomo Bank to cash them. It rained yesterday afternoon, so I went to a baseball match in the Fukuoka Dome, which was fun. I like baseball, and went to lots of games when I visited the USA. The Japanese cheerleaders are nuts, they keep up this constant barrage of noise and at 7th inning stretch they all let off balloons with whistles in – you should hear it! Also visited the museum of contemporary Asian art, some nice things and some so decidedly strange that they would not look amiss in the Tate Modern in London!

I’m surviving with the food ok, (Padmassana has been known to be a bit of a picky eater – the Beetle!) bought some hot tofu on sticks and stuck them in some bread rolls with my pea crisps for a picnic today, they even have little pods! KFC etc for major meals. Body clock not happy, keep waking between 2am-4am, then can’t get back to sleep till 6am.

Up early today, getting the train to Beppu. Took about 4 hours to get from Fukuoka to Beppu. Beppu is famous for the Hells. If anyone tells you Beppu is a “Hell” of a place it’s true! I checked in at Beppu Hotel and went to the tourist office to ask for directions. The man at the tourist office took me right to the door. I don’t think that would happen in London!

The Hells, as I have already said are Beppu’s claim to fame: a series of hot springs that are different colours due to the underlying rocks and minerals etc, one is bright red. A 2,000 yen ticket allows you visit all seven. Some are boiling mud pots, but most are steam. The last one is a sort of geyser that explodes every 20 minutes. It took me 4 hours to go round them including a bus ride between two sets.

Did a day trip from Beppu, about an hour and a half by train to visit some stone Buddhas, dating from the 10th century. You walk up a short hill and then see lines of Buddhas carved into the hill. These are reputed to be the best and oldest examples of stone Buddhas in Japan. Also visited Usuki from Beppu. The town itself is quite nice, has an old street of houses that are interesting. There was torrential rain, so the rent a brolly lady was doing a good trade! I am staying in a business type hotel that has free tea on every floor. I managed to sleep through the night for the first time since arriving. Despite the weather, another nice day, a country where you feel safe and the people are fantastic.

In Part 2, Padmassana tells us about Miyazaki and the clay statues and the journey to Kagoshima. If you would like to contact Padmassana to ask him about his time in Japan, he can be e-mailed on: Padmassana