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Funny Signs by Mac

Mac is not responsible for finding these signs, he saw them on the internet and thought they may be amusing for readers of the Globetrotters e-newsletter.  Please, no complaints about being patronising, this is just for fun. 

Spotted in a toilet of a London office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY, PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

… and the best one…Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

 … and finally…

On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Meeting News from London

London meeting 3rd April 2004 by Padmassana

John Douglas was our first speaker this afternoon, who showed us Norway’s Arctic Highway which begins life further south as the E6. John's photos took us through the roads history which began in the 1930’s, through the years of WW2 when the Germans used slave labour from Yugoslavia to push the road into previously impenetrable regions. In those days the road was not much more than a track, a far cry from today’s paved road. The reason for the improvement to the road in the last thirty years or so being Norway’s North sea oil, not only paving the road but driving tunnels through mountains and under fjords and the sea. John explained that this was partly done for political reasons, to encourage the population to stay in the north and keep the area populated during the Cold War. John also showed us the Norway we expect to see, reindeer, glaciers, snow capped peaks and the Sami people in their colourful traditional costumes that sadly only come out nowadays on ceremonial occasions. John finished this interesting talk with a photo taken near Hammerfest, the midnight sun giving rise to a magnificent orange sky.

Our second speaker was Karen Neale, an artist’s journey through world heritage cities and sights. This highly innovative talk was not illustrated by the usual slide show, but rather by Karen’s own sketches, which she made as she travelled. Her 5-month journey was funded by a grant from the Churchill Trust Travelling Fellowship. During her trip she made over 100 sketches, which brought the places to life for the audience and for those of us who have visited some of the places rekindled many memories. Karen left a rainy London for a rainy Paris in April 2001, but the sun finally shone for her as she drew Avignon’s Papal Palace. She travelled into Italy, via Milan, Venice and Rome and into Greece, then into Turkey, Karen’s sketches of Istanbul’s domes and minarets and the Grand Bazaar bringing this eastern city to life. Karen’s enthusiasm bubbled throughout her talk, particularly her sketches in Iran, from the history of Persepolis, the beautiful drawing of Imam Square and the most evocative of all the mud walled city of Bam, which was destroyed in December 2003 by an earthquake. Many Globies who have been there will no doubt be asking for prints of that drawing. Karen headed east into Uzbekistan to the fabled cities of Khiva and Samarkand, where she drew the mosques. A dodgy Uzbek airlines flight took her to India, where she had difficulty drawing in the cities as she became an attraction herself, surrounded by people watching her, but she still managed to bring us colourful pictures of Jaipur and the temples at Ranakpur. Karen’s was a very different presentation and I am sure it is going to be remembered as one of the highlights of Globetrotters in 2004.

Next month

On Saturday 8th May, Liam D’Arcy Brown talks about China's Historic and Symbolic Borders an 11,000 mile journey to the country's extreme four corners and after the break, John Malathronas will give a slide show and talk about Brazil – Life, Blood and Soul.

London meetings are held at The Church of Scotland, Crown Court, behind the Fortune Theatre in Covent Garden at 2.30pm the first Saturday of each month. There is no London meeting in August, but we will be back in September. For more information, you can contact the Globetrotters Info line on +44 (0) 20 8674 6229, or visit the website: www.globetrotters.co.uk

Volunteer Spotlight Youth Services with Iko Poran, Brazil

Iko Poran society is a Brazilian association of private non-profit , non-political, non-denominational organizations guided by the principles of democracy. The mission of our organization is to promote volunteer programs that have a positive impact on their communities and surrounding and promote a beneficial exchange between cultures. Volunteer work varies according to project. For more information see our website at http://www.ikoporan.org/ or email rj@ikoporan.org

Youth Services with TIPACOM, Peru

TIPACOM a program that helps babies, children and teenagers living in extreme poverty, mainly in Villa El Salvador as well as other pueblos jovenes in Lima. TIPACOM has developed many projects including training programs for young people. The organization also works to promote health awareness and aid the sick. Volunteers can work in any of these areas and are encouraged to organize other social project in pueblos jovenes. Those with background in Administration are needed as are English teachers. For more info, email tipacom@hotmail.com

Meeting News from New York

Liz and Josh Ferber presented slides and talked about Australia and New Zealand.

June 5th: Amy Gissen – still to be decided – but will probably be talking about Cambodia and Thailand.

$10.00 for non-members, $8.00 for members.

For details of forthcoming meetings email newyork@globetrotters.co.uk or register for email updates, click here at our website.

New York meetings are held at The Wings Theatre, 154 Christopher Street (btw Greenwich St and Washington St ), to the right of Crunch Fitness, in the Archive on the first Saturday of each month at 4 pm .

Mac's Travel Tips

We are sorry to say that Mac is not very well, but he is still e-mailing strong and recently sent the Beetle a collection of Mac reminiscences about some of his travels in 1992.  Here we have thoughts and experiences on Malaysia, India, Komodo Dragons and Singapore.

Kula Lumpur, Malaysia: Malaysian children are singing in the church across the street from my four star, oops, excuse me, I mean four dollar hotel.  It is sweltering hot and they are singing: “Dashing through the snow in a one horse open shay.”

When I stepped outside my Hotel Shelly in Bombay one night (it is along the water front) I heard on a microphone “Humpty Dumpty. Number eight.”  They were playing Bingo and calling number in English manner, I guess, outside the pier of a membership recreation club.  An Indian gentleman came up to me in a chilled beer bar and complained to me that his son worked for American Express and they were taking advantage of him and having him work more than eight hours a day.  I told him I would speak to them about that.  Ha!  I later saw Indians picketing American Express for unfair labour practices.  The other side of the coin is, according to the Americans that the Indians do not work as hard as the Americans and that they are used to goofing off in Indian firms and expect to do the same in American firms.  I am trying to stay neutral. I can’t solve all the worlds problems!

25 Nov 1991, Singapore: a cable car with wonderful views of Singapore takes you to Sentosa Island.  The wax museum (I like wax museums, I learn my history there) shows the founding of Singapore and about the War years and is well worth the $1.80 US it costs.  It is called Pioneers of Singapore/Surrender Chambers.  It always intrigues me, the foreigners living in Singapore were dancing the night away in formal clothes at the Raffles Hotel and then in a few hours, they were prisoners of the Japanese.  They had not expected the Japanese to attack down the Malaysian peninsula but rather from the sea and certainly not that fast if they did.

I just found out that if in Malaysia I had told them I was a Senior citizen I could have travelled at half price on the train.  The Singapore Senior Citizen rate at their zoo, however, is for Singaporeans only.  I tried to look Singaporean, but strangely, it didn’t work.  They charge $7 U.S.  I am used to zoos being free but it is a good zoo.  

Komodo dragons: the largest is about the size of a crocodile and can eat a horse.  They thought they were extinct and then they found some on an Indonesian island, Komodo, hence their name.  Left over from past ages.  I also saw Meerkats which are like mongooses and they all got to see me.

Sign in subway in Singapore: No Durians allowed.  Durian is a fruit that is delicious tasting but has a terrible smell to it.  Many hotels and places will not allow you to bring in Durian (they smell like farts) or as a British Colonial descried Durian “Like eating a garlic custard while standing over a London sewer.” I gave some stuff to Catholic Church in Kula Lumpur and the priest and his students took me out to eat Durian.  One girl said her grandmother was addicted to it.  Announcements on subway in Singapore (and they have a beautiful one) were in four different languages (all saying No Durian I guess).

An Iranian seaman sat next to me on bus from Singapore to Kula Lumpur, Malaysia.  He was eating almonds he had brought from Iran.   He said he had been in twenty countries, but not the United States, as they would not let him in.  He said that the Revolution was bad, everyone is unemployed.  There had been so many Iranians at Ueno train station in Tokyo, Japan, each morning when I was there.  They would congregate there hoping to get a day job from Japanese looking for cheap labour for the day.  It was odd.  I am American and they were Iranians, but they approached me to go site seeing with as if we were old friends.  He was a marine engineer (the guy on the bus). Oddly enough, I met a marine engineer (three different ones) on three different tour buses in different places.  You think of seamen spending their time in bars but all three I met were avid sightseers.

While waiting for a bus in Singapore, I met an American school teacher that joined an International Pen Pal Club just to have contacts while travelling.  He was amazed to find the pen pal he had in Indonesia lived in a beautiful eight room house that had a waterfall in the house.  At pen pal places he says he usually pays a nominal amount as he stays for long periods.  He paid $85 a month at one place on East Coast of Malaysia.  It was a place he had fallen in love with.  Name is something like Khoutan.  One of the pen pals he visited was in Brunei.  He had never heard of it before (not all school teachers are smart!)  It is oil rich.  He says that some wealthy Brunei will charter a whole public bus just for himself and the people that were going to take that public bus are just out of luck with no advance notice.  Today I guess it would be internet pals.

If you would like to contact Mac, he is happy to answer e-mails: macsan400@yahoo.com

Country Statistics

Rank Country Name Internet Users as
% of Total Population
1 United States 53.23%
2 Norway 52.40%
3 Iceland 51.82%
4 Sweden 50.70%
5 Finland 43.86%
6 Denmark 42.97%
7 Netherlands 42.55%
8 Canada 42.03%
9 Singapore 40.46%
10 Australia 40.14%

Source:

Meeting News from Ontario

For information on Ontario meetings, please contact Svatka Hermanek: shermanek@schulich.yorku.ca or Bruce Weber: tel. 416-203-0911 or Paul Webb: tel. 416-694-8259.

Meetings are held on the third Friday of January, March, May, September and November. Usually at the Woodsworth Co-op, Penthouse, 133, Wilton Street in downtown Toronto at 8.00 p.m.

Our Friends Ryanair

Director of Ryanair.com Conal Henry announced proudly: ‘Ryanair is the ONLY airline that provides access to all European Grand Prix destinations – all other airlines are the pits!!’  According to them, the best access to Hungarian GP near Budapest on August 15th is via… Graz, Austria, the distance to Hungary JUST 364 km.

What is going on!  The passenger traffic statistics for March 2004 confirm Ryanair has carried 204,187 more passengers in UK/Europe than British Airways. 

Ryanair on 7 April 2004 released its customer service statistics for March 2004.  Ryanair is committed to publishing customer service statistics each month and these confirm that Ryanair is also No.1 for Customer Service.

  • 93% of all Ryanair's 15,798 flights during the month of March arrived on time.
  • Complaints registered at less than 1 (0.49) complaint per 1000 passengers.
  • Mislaid baggage registered at less than 1 (0.64) bag per 1000 passengers.

Just in case you a regular visitor to Brest, in France, Ryanair has decided to discontinue the Brest-London (Stansted) route.

Meeting News from Texas

On Saturday May 9th Wayne Stevenson Thomas from the International Cooperative Exchange Network, SERVAS gave a talk at the Texas branch of the Globetrotters Club.  SERVAS was established in 1948 and is an international network of hosts and travellers building peace by providing opportunities for personal contact between people of diverse cultures and backgrounds. Through mutually arranged individual visits, hosts and travellers share their lives, interests and concerns about social issues. These encounters help form the building blocks of peace in the spirit of mutual service and respect.

See their website:http://www.usservas.org/

Dates of future meetings:

  • June 12th
  • July 10th
  • Mark your calendars now

For more information about the Texas Branch: please contact texas@globetrotters.co.uk or register for email updates at our website (click here) or call Christina at 830-620-5482

If anybody would like to enquire about meetings or help Christina, please contact her on: texas@globetrotters.co.uk

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To see your story in cyber print, e-mail the Beetle with your travel experiences, hints and tips or questions up to 750 words, together with a couple of sentences about yourself and a contact e-mail address to Beetle@globetrotters.co.uk