U. S. Soldiers Home, Washington: during a century of travel (well 78 years!) both in and out of service I have travelled to over 150 countries (I count both North and South Dakota as countries) and for some reason have jotted signs and happenings that I thought funny at the time (and now wonder why). So here is the perfect opportunity to share some of my anecdotes.

Indian newspaper had an ad for a men’s tailor: “Clothier to the male ego.”

One traveller to save weight and space carries only three black socks. Not three pair of black socks but three individual black socks and washes one sock out each night. (Ok so it is me!)

Instead of buying new clothes and shoes to travel some people wear their old clothes they have broken in and when they get dirty take them to one of the many reasonable tailors in India, Penang, Thailand etc and have duplicated or design their own travel clothes. In India I had them make trousers with many pockets, hidden pockets, a strap in the back so trousers could be hung on a nail. I was in Safari phase then so had shirts made out of same material again with lots of pockets.

I met an Australian that became native fifteen minutes after arrival in India. He had flimsy white cotton trousers and shirt made and shaved his head like a monk. I wore a diaper and carried a begging bowl. We both said we did not know the other. I used to joke that Air India in economy did not serve food. They gave you a begging bowl and you had to go to First class and beg for food.

One guy took a suit he liked but had a cigarette hole in it to Hong Kong to have duplicated. They did right down to the cigarette hole. I lie a lot.

One time, just before I got off the plane at Tokyo airport, I ripped the back of my pants and my rear end was exposed. I did not have an extra pair of trousers with me in the plane and I did not want to go through passport control etc with my rear exposed for fear they would not let me in the country so although it was a very hot sweltering day I put on my raincoat to hide my rear end. I got some strange looks but was not stopped. I since always carry an extra pair of trousers in the cabin of the plane with me. I think I had had the trousers made in Hong Kong and if they use Chinese thread they rip easily. Take American thread with you if having clothes made in Hong Kong. And hope they use it. I had shoes made in Hong Kong and walking down the street the soles fell off. When I went to a cobbler he told me the soles had been glued on and the heat undid the glue.

Digressing somewhat, on a trip to South Africa I was made an honorary member of both MOTH and COMRADES clubs. Both are veteran’s organizations. The MOTH club in Johannesburg is near train station. MOTH stands for Military Order of Tin Hats, which started in World War I. Smaller clubs of MOTHs are called Shellholes and their commander (no matter what his name) is always called Old Bill.

In India I was made an honorary Sikh. A Sikh Lt Colonel (a lawyer) in the Indian Army introduced me to the five Ks of Sikhdom. A Sikh and I think most of them have Singh for part of their name meaning lion has five marks of a Sikh all beginning with letter K. The five Kikars. Kish, long uncut hair that they never cut worn under a turban. Kanka, the wooden small comb. Kackkor, long modest boxer like shorts. Kara, the steel bracelet and Karpan, a small ceremonial sword. As my hair was short I guess I was only 4/5 of an honorary Sikh.

A Captain in the Indian Army brought five yards of material, which is what it takes for a turban, and wound it very tight around my head so it would not come undone before I got back to the States. Although Sikhs can and do wear turbans in the Army, he did not wear one. The Sikhs seemed to be on the same wavelength as me especially the ones in the military and they were a good source of information for me.

I asked if Indians would be insulted if they saw me wearing a turban in Amritsar (I don’t usually go native.) I was told they would not even notice and would not be insulted. It was easier to wear than to carry back to my hotel. There were few places selling beer but I found one and the bar tender told me he had seen me wearing the turban on the street and had prevented others from throwing stones at me. Joking! He said I looked very handsome in the turban. He knew how to get a tip.

No matter where you ask a rickshaw driver in Amritsar to take you they take you to the Golden Temple. Actually I wanted to go to a circus I spotted. The showgirls in the circus were completely covered in what looked like winter underwear: long johns. The circus did not have much, but it had a rhinoceros. He did not do much. It cost me $3.60 for the cloth for the turban. I don’t know where it is now.

I went to visit Indiri Ghandi’s (former leader of India) home, now a museum. She was Nehru’s daughter and no relation to Mahatma Ghandi. She had married a man named Ghandi. This was in Delhi. Indiri Ghandi had sent in troops to quell a riot at Golden Temple in Amritsar and a Sikh (not me) assassinated her as she was walking in the garden of her home. He was one of her disloyal guards. There were signs in the garden as to what you could not do such as no spitting. At the Golden Temple in Amritsar Sikhs immerse themselves in the water moat surrounding the temple. There were many memorial plaques to soldiers at the Golden Temple complex such as “In memory of those brave soldiers killed in action in 1965.” The Poona Horse Regiment with deep reverence and loving gratitude from the Bengal Snappers Bengal Engineer Group Centre Boorhee 1978. Lt Col H. S. Samedhi and all ranks.

Next month, Mac discusses Hong Kong.

If you would like to contact Mac, he can be e-mailed on: macsan400@yahoo.com