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Funny Corner

Submitted by Frank from the US.

Actual comments from US travel agents:

I had someone ask for an aisle seat so their hair wouldn't get messed up from being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, “Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?”

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with “I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts. “Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, “Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa.” Her response?… click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, “Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”

I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No.” He said, “But they look so close on the map.”

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!


Globetrotters Travel Award

Under 30? A member of Globetrotters Club? Interested in a £1,000 travel award?

Know someone who is? We have £1,000 to award each year for five years for the best submitted independent travel plan. Interested?

Then see our legacy page on our Website, where you can apply with your plans for a totally independent travel trip and we'll take a look at it. Get those plans in!!


Mac’s reminiscences on Soldier’s Homes

U. S. Soldiers Home Mac: during a century of travel (well 78 years!) both in and out of service I have travelled to over 150 countries (I count both North and South Dakota as countries) and for some reason have jotted signs and happenings that I thought funny at the time (and now wonder why!) So here is the perfect opportunity to share some of my anecdotes.

Here at the soldier’s home, we have just had some visitors from London’s Royal Chelsea Hospital. Wonderful people: an officer and his wife and four residents in their signature bright red coats. One time when I was in England I went out on my own to the Royal Chelsea Hospital and spent a few hours.

One of the members told me that Nell Gwynn, the mistress of King Charles II saw some war veterans searching for food so she proposed to king Charles that he build a shelter for them. He jokingly said he would build one the size of her handkerchief. She then proceeded to unravel her handkerchief by pulling out the threads from it to make a big circle for the size of first home for the soldiers.

Maybe a tall tale but I think we here at our retired military home should toast Nell anyway as we got ideas for our home from England. The person that told me this said that he thought they should have a statue on their grounds of Nell in gratitude. Maybe we should have one here too as our retired military home was copied after England’s.

When I visited the London soldier’s home, it seemed to me that the iron fence around the grounds even looked like ours or ours theirs. The top position in our home was Governor (like England) until a few years ago when it was changed to title of Director. We have garden plots just like the ones in the UK.

If you would like to contact Mac, he is happy to answer any questions even if some of his information may be a little out of date. Mac can be e-mailed at: macsan400@yahoo.com


Fave Websites of the Month

The Beetle likes the Aussie slang website spotted by our eagle eyed webmaster.

Having just come back from Australia, she noticed a propensity to end as many words as possible with “ie” as in, being asked by an air hostess, would you like “brekkie” i.e. breakfast. A barbecue is a barbie, football, footie and so on.

The website also provides the translations to mysterious words like “onya” and the use of G’day and ‘oroo. Incidentally, back to the site’s home page, there’s also an English to American dictionary (and vice versa) British, Canadian and American words.

If you have a travellers tale that your aching to tell. Then why not visit the “Travel Sized Bites” section of the Website and share it with the world. Travel Sized Bites


Trekking the Indian Himalayas with Carol and Martin Noval: Across the Parang La Pass to Tso Moriri Lake in Tibetan Buddhist Spiti

Last July's trek over the 5600-meter (18,300 foot) high Parang La pass from Spiti, a remote high-altitude Tibetan Buddhist region in the north Indian State of Himachal Pradesh, to the vast, electric blue Tso Moriri lake on the high Changtang Plateau in Western Ladakh was a trip that we are all still raving about.

The scenery is spectacular and the wildlife and meetings with the nomads who inhabit this area are unforgettable. It was the perfect trek–just long enough to get into it and begin to feel that body and mind have been transformed (nine days including two rest days). It was a group from Switzerland that joined us. We'll be leading this 21-day trip again next July (2003), and we're already looking forward to it. The drive into the Himalayas follows a stunning route that really shows off the grandeur and extent of these mountains and valleys. We toured, while at the same time acclimatizing to the altitude, in Kullu, Lahaul and Spiti, not far from Tibet and very much like it, before actually starting the walk.

In the lush, heavily forested Kullu Valley at the foot of the Great Himalayan Range we visited ancient temples, the bazaar town of Manali, and Naggar, the valley's ancient capital and home to the Roerich Gallery. Nikolai Roerich, philosopher, mystic, occultist and painter, who was, strangely enough, responsible for getting the pyramid with the eye put on the US one dollar bill, was so taken with the beauty of this valley that he made Naggar his home and painted splendid scenes of the mountains. We walked through the impressive forest around Naggar to start stretching our legs and lungs.

We drove over the mighty 14,000-foot Rohtang Pass into Lahaul, a land of mountains, glaciers and mighty waterfalls. We were now in the heart of the Himalayas. We crossed the Kunzum Pass and stopped at the top to look at the chortens (Buddhist reliquary mounds) and Hindu temples, the area strung with a multitude of, colorful, fluttering prayer flags, and of course to admire the views. As we drove down the pass into Spiti a herd of yaks came storming down the mountainside looking like big dogs at play. What a sight! In Spiti we toured villages and dramatically perched monasteries, repositories of Tibetan art and sculpture, with lively populations of traditional people and maroon-robed lamas. It's a magnificent region, the place where the Indian subcontinent first made contact with the Asian mainland in that long-ago collision of continents that created the Himalayas.

On the morning the trek began our horses and crew assembled below our hotel and loaded the supplies, gear and tents (dining and lounge tent, kitchen tent and sleeping tents) while we started walking, carrying only our small daypacks. It took us about 4 hours to reach our first camp with a stop for lunch on the way. After reaching camp we had steaming bowls of noodle soup and tea and biscuits prepared by Sonam, our ever-smiling cook, and we began to take in this amazing place. What a spot it was: nestled in a bowl of mountains with gorgeous peaks in every direction and low growing shrubs covered in yellow flowers (caragana brevifolia). We spent a rest day there to acclimatize and get into being in the high mountains. Some of us did a walk to a spot on the edge of a cliff over a river valley from where we had a view of the Parang La pass.

But it would be another two days of steep walking before we'd cross it. The pass is 18,300 feet high, so even though we started walking high in Spiti, at about 16,000 feet, we still had altitude to gain. These paths are made for walking, for they are used by nomads, shepherds and traders from Tibet, so even though we were gaining altitude the going was not that difficult, no big steps or leaps, though some of the grades were fairly steep. Our legs and lungs were getting a really good stretch now. It felt as though we were on another planet and all thoughts of the “real world” were far away. We just concentrated on where we were, drinking in the sublime beauty of it all.

This trek has everything: the Parang La pass with great views in every direction, an easy walk over a glacier on the other side, then three days of great, full-stride, nearly level walking through a valley with hallucinogenic formations, two river crossings, which were good fun as we all held hands and waded through the knee-deep water, and finally, the lake, Tso Moriri-amazing to come upon such a huge lake in these high mountains-truly awesome. Surrounded by “soft” cream-coloured hills-a dramatic contrast to the rugged, jagged mountain scenery we had been walking through-and meadows where Changpas (nomadic shepherds) graze their flocks of pashmina goats and yaks, Tso Moriri is a vast expanse of azure water, a blue that is other-worldly, truly electrifying.

The colour of the lake changes throughout the day depending on the light. And at times parts of it seem to disappear as if “captured” by the reflections of the tan peaks behind it. On the 9-day trek we saw herds of yak, marmots, kiang (wild horses), wild goats, bar-headed geese-mothers and fathers bobbing on the lake with their goslings-lammergeiers (gigantic vultures), and the nomads living in their yak hair tents. And the wildflowers! The Swiss were amazed to see edelweiss growing in such profusion. After a rest day at the lake and a climb up on the ridges behind it for great views, we walked up the lakeshore to the village of Karzok, one of those frontier villages that looks as if it's at the end of the world. And then the drive to Leh, capital of Ladakh, India's “little Tibet,” with its fascinating bazaars and palace, a mini-Potala, and the world's highest polo field.

Flying back to Delhi, where the trip began, the Himalayan ranges spread out below us. We toured Old and New Delhi, appreciated the architecture and urban design of the British Raj, visited colorful temples, markets, beautiful parks and the Qutab Minar, Asia's tallest ancient minaret. We rode through Old Delhi in bicycle rickshaws and wandered the narrow, winding lanes of its colorful bazaars. Martin and Carol Noval have been living in India for more than twenty years and organize and lead several special cultural tours and treks a year for small groups. They'll be doing this trek again next summer; it's one of their favourites. If you would like to get in touch, email them at tripsintoindia@usa.net and check their website (www.tripsintoindia.com).


Airline News

According to the Geneva-based Aircraft Crashes Records Office, fewer people died in aircraft crashes last year than at any time since 1947, according to figures released this week. The records are based on most aircraft with the capacity to carry six passengers in its calculations and include commercial and private flights, rescue aircraft, cargo planes and military transporters.

The death toll was 1,379 worldwide and the total number of accidents, 154, was the lowest for 37 years.

Most of the serious incidents took place in the first half of the year, with three major crashes in May. That month saw the year's worst accident in Taiwan, involving a China Airlines Boeing 747-200, which killed 225 people.

Although around 45 percent of accidents were in North and South America that was a 14 percent reduction on the previous year. Crash figures in Asia, however, rose by 15 percent. Europe saw a 4 percent drop in accident numbers, but in Africa the figure rose by 5 percent.

The 46 crashes in the United States mostly involved small planes. There were no deaths on commercial or cargo aircraft in the US according to the Federal Aviation Administration.

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Australian aviation authorities have warned that the country's air links with Papua New Guinea could be severed at the end of January 2003 because of concerns over safety standards. The well used daily service between the capital Port Moresby and Cairns, flown by Air Niugini, is under threat unless PNG's civil aviation authority matches up to international air safety requirements.

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A passenger travelling club class on a British Airways flight from London to Los Angeles was found dead in a bathroom. A newspaper report said the middle-aged man, who is believed to be a Swiss national, was found hanged.

Members of the cabin crew broke into the bathroom after it had been closed for 30 minutes and concerns were raised about the person inside. A doctor who was on the flight tried to save the man, but he was already dead.

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In 2003 British Airways is going to withdraw services from Leeds-Bradford and Cardiff. In April 2003 it will begin flying from London City Airport for the first time, launching three new routes to Frankfurt, Paris and Glasgow. BA also plans a major boost to its Manchester flights, adding more capacity and three new routes. The bad news is that BA plans to cut 21 routes to be announced.

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Scandinavian airline SAS have just announced a low fare private travellers program from March 30, 2003, serving European destinations where SAS does not normally operate.

Although the new service will have its own identity, it will not be a separate airline. The as-yet unnamed operation will be a business unit of SAS.

Travellers will be able to fly from Copenhagen to Alicante, Athens, Bologna, Lisbon, Malaga, Palma de Mallorca, Pristina and Sarajevo. Flights are also planned from Stockholm Arlanda to Alicante, Athens, Barcelona, Bologna, Budapest, Dublin, Istanbul, Malaga, Nice, Prague and Rome.

“It should be inexpensive and easy to travel. Travellers will experience a totally new concept. We offer only one-way trips, one class, no advanced booking rules and tickets must be booked and paid at the same time,” said Eva-Karin Dahl, who is responsible for the new concept. Passengers will also pay for on-board food and drink.

A unique Internet site is being developed for ticket sales but, initially, tickets will be available via SAS's ordinary sales channels as well as through agents.

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Middle East carrier Gulf Air, owned by Bahrain, Abu Dhabi and Oman, is to launch the region's first all-economy class, full service airline later this year aimed largely at the leisure market and the large number of overseas workers in the area.

The airline, which will operate under its own name and have its own livery, will make its first flight from Abu Dhabi, capital of the United Arab Emirates, in June.


Be Aware of HIV

According to a recent UN report, more women are now infected with HIV/Aids than men and more than 40 million people, globally are now living with the disease. Around the world, 5m people were newly infected with the virus in the past year and almost 25% of these were children under the age of 15.

Southern Africa remains at the epicentre of the Aids disaster: an estimated 30% of the adult population in four countries – Botswana, Lesotho, Swaziland and Zimbabwe are infected with HIV/AIDS. The UNAids states: “In four southern African countries, national adult HIV prevalence has risen higher than thought possible. The food crises faced in three of these are linked to the toll of their longstanding HIV/Aids epidemics, especially on the lives of young, productive adults.” The report, entitled Aids Epidemic Update 2002, warns that worse is still to come.

Officials have also warned of major epidemics in Eastern Europe, China and India unless action is taken to tackle the disease.

However, among the growing tally of HIV infections, there have been some success stories – in Brazil, for example, where prevention programmes have had a massive impact, and in African countries such as Ethiopia and South Africa.

Living with HIV

Region Totals

Western Europe

570,000

North America

980,000

Eastern Europe/Central Asia

1.2m

Latin America

1.5m

South/South East Asia

0.6m

Sub-Saharan Africa

29.4m


Currency Conversion

A recent UK survey for the Department for Education found that of over 1,000 adults, 30% felt unable to compare rates in exchange bureaux. A similar proportion said they were not comfortable converting foreign currency into sterling. Over a fifth of those surveyed admitted they had wrongly calculated how much they spent on holiday, with 12% saying they had run out of money.

The Globetrotters Club has just teamed up with Oanda.com to provide people with information about currency conversions and cheat sheets. To translate currency or make a cheat sheet, visit:

The Globetrotters Currency Converter — get the exchange rates for 164 currencies The Globetrotters Currency Cheat Sheet — create and print a currency converter table for your next trip.


Molokai by Henry Nowicki

The following is an extract from Henry’s website which has lots of interesting links and provides much background to this memorable trip to Molokai. To find out more info, take a look at: Just for background, one of Molokai’s famous past residents, Father Damien, was a Belgium priest who dedicated a large part of his life caring for and helping people suffering from leprosy.

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The Knights of Columbus, Kamiano (Damien) Council 11743 of Waikiki had arranged a round trip flight from Honolulu to Molokai for a nostalgic exploration of Father Damien’s Settlement. One can normally expect to be quoted a fare in excess of $200 for a Kalaupapa tour but the Knights of Columbus chartered a plane to fly round trip Honolulu to Molokai and that resulted in a savings which also included a bonus flight seeing air tour of the spectacular Molokai cliffs all the way to the east end of the island and back.

The weather was good after nearly a week of heavy rain and overcast skies. The trade winds were back with winds ENE at 15-25mph and it was now visibility unlimited.

We boarded our 9-passenger, twin engine Piper Chieftain for a 1200 departure and a fifty-minute flight that not only took us past downtown Honolulu and over the Norwegian Star, Waikiki and Diamond Head but over Koko Head and across the 22-mile wide Molokai Channel to the west end of Molokai and past Papohaku Beach, the longest sand beach in Hawaii. Then its along the north shore of Molokai until we see the low-lying Kalaupapa Peninsula jutting due north from a cliffed coast midway along the north shore. We pass the peninsula and continue east another fifteen miles past some of the highest sea cliffs (2,000′ asl) in the world. We turn around at Cape Halawa with a peek at Halawa Valley at the easternmost end of Molokai (the northwest coast of Maui can be seen nine miles away) and we then retraced our route so that persons on the left side of the aircraft might have a good view of the pali coast. We finally land at the state-owned and operated Kalaupapa Airport (LUP) with its 2700-ft runway scenically perched right along the rocky shoreline and abreast of the historic Kalaupapa Lighthouse.

At Kalaupapa Airport, located about two miles north of the settlement, we were met by Fr. Joe Hendricks, the pastor of Kalaupapa Parish and driven, by yours truly, to the settlement. Fr. Joe, who also founded the Damien Museum in Honolulu, said a mass for us at Fr. Damien’s old St. Philomena Church in Kalawao and then graciously gave us his insight into Blessed Fr. Damien’s life and labours. His story is universally known and a timeless one. We viewed his and Brother Dutton’s grave and were sure to see Mother Marianne’s last resting place, heroes all.

We drove everywhere we could and then some. Things were so quiet that we even saw deer and wild pigs in the middle of the day. The views are outstanding and the peninsula is, at least now, neat and pleasant. Re-supply is heavily by air since the barge visits but once in February each year. There are currently 43 residents who are living out their days in the settlement and one of them, Paul Harada who has been there since 1945, even gave one of our Tongan members (Zco who tells me he was named for the Tongan radio station that started operations on the day he was born) some good-looking fresh fish which were just right for sashimi. This special visit took us four hours and afterwards we reboarded our chartered plane for the return flight to Honolulu.

We flew along the northwest coast of Molokai and headed for Honolulu direct. The flight path was somewhat similar to the outgoing leg but provided interesting views, such as downtown Honolulu (photo 12), from another angle. We landed at Honolulu International Airport (HNL) and taxied back to our starting point to complete an extremely memorable experience!

The Knights of Columbus will sponsor other trips to Kalaupapa so if you are interested then click here to request further details and a schedule. Note: Passengers must be sixteen years of age as a minimum. Although the entrance to the Kalaupapa National Historical Park is free, admittance is limited to either those taking the Damien Tour or those personally invited by a resident.

If you would like any further information, please contact Henry by email: Nowicki@webtv.net


What’s On When: February

Switzerland: Foulee Blanche 2 February This cross-country ski race is one of the most popular events in the Swiss Alps, open to everyone.

Japan: Bean Throwing Festival 3-4 February The Japanese dress up as devils and pelt one another with beans to drive out evil spirits.

London Dive Show 1st & 2nd March

The London International Dive Show will take place over the weekend of the 1st and 2nd of March at the ExCel exhibition halls in Docklands, London. In its 23rd year with over 250 exhibitors, the show features new equipment, holiday destinations, presentations and seminars. For more info, visit:

London Dive Show

Source: What’s On When